"Daydreaming of adornment
Wondering when and if she'd ever be noticed
In the Last few seconds of the day's end
She hopes the next day brings what she's been missing..."
As women and young women we tend to carry unnecessary weight on our backs. Criticism, lies, distrust, being unappreciated, social media beauty, lonesome, no support, defermation of character, lack of adornment, etc. I will be the first to say that those things broke me and a few of those things, I still fight with. Self-esteem and confidence is learned and love is a process ,so don't you ever feel it's the end for you if you lack those important factors. Progress is what matters.Taking it step by step and day by day. Everyone is not born with CONFIDENT as their first and last name. I can only speak from my experience. When I was younger, I did not know the first thing about having confidence, let alone anything on self-esteem. I was just having fun, experiencing fear,happiness, failure,losing friendships and relationships, joy and pain with grace. I didn't understand the aftermath, I didn't understand the effects that came later. Disappointments that affect your relationships, lies that strain your social life and feeling alone because of past abandonment. As you get older your thought process gets deeper ,your actions reflect your pass ,and wanting acceptance to the point that you alter your personality. You tend to become the actor you present to people to "feel accepted" not realizing that to real acceptance is to be who you truly are. Silly and all, the goof behind close doors, the book worm, the poet, whatever makes you, you. Everyone go though and get through struggles differently so it would be ridiculous for me to tell you what you should do, especially still going though the motions. What I do know is what helps me, that can possibly help you. That is accepting yourself for who you truly are, sounds cliche but true. For instance, if you are sensitive ,own it! If you like to cry rather than scream, own it! If you have weird arm freckles, Own who you are! Own what makes you, you. That is a start to prove to yourself that there is only one you. Owning who you are gives you first hand to your uniqueness and I think thats's the most important discovery.